They take their daughters back home for arrange marriages
An easy out will be uneasy to find. But a way will be found. It will be you and me coming to term with what we know, how we know it and what we perceived it to be its primary purpose. When that day comes, there will be no need to asking ourselves what we need to do next. There will just be us, individually taking on each task whatever feel the less heavy. There will be shortcuts to the final decisions and traditions will be used as references between where we are going and what we have left behind with the importance of ‘why’. The voices of the muted individuals will pick up a bit and the loud ones among us will finally realize, having been given the choice to power does not make one wise and just-that the problems of the world have regrettably been linked to such misunderstandings. There will be no reference about where individuals come from but whether they can do what they say they can do. There will be peace. There will be love as a result; for finally, we will realize our oneness is a need-not a want.
If you could not think of a specific way to start anything, start with you. What is going on around you that may or not affect you. If not you, who is being affected by it. If it does affect you, how do you feel, and is it a feeling you would like to be diminished? If yes, what are the obstacles preventing you from getting out of it or it from decreasing? What do you fear the most? What lie ahead should your freedom mean standing up? Who are you with the obstacle? Who are you without the abstract?
Unbelievably, I found out that, our obstacles are not real things to deal with until we identified with them. That when we begin to be at ease with the struggles faced by those around us, it becomes a second nature to wanting the continuation of their conditions. Should the above point be disputed, then often time, this is what happens. And in our cause, it should be something like this: when separating ourselves from cultures and beliefs, it effortlessly brings all of us to a place of understanding. That place is the different between us and the beliefs. It is our ability to unmixed what we came up with and who we are as a people. That place is our understanding of the practices themselves and how, we, the mater creators of our wants and needs deeply know about their inherent consequences. That place is the one true image of what we should not misspell as love but that should guide us to love.
Of all the places I have been, I want one thing to happen. And that is to talk about the negative outcomes of our very practices. If some have heard me, then this is also part of what I say. That our culture is not bad but a piece of art with flaws in its existence making life hard for some of us. Even more too, my wishes are always that we will talk about our culture no matter the evident walls.
Truthfully, our last event in Melton, Australia brough us close to that hope. Our panel took us through examples using the life -journeys they too were part of. They denounced and condemned child marriage and force marriage and outlined the risks and the damages which befall a girl child once she is placed under such situations.
That openness brough us to discover this: as we are talking, some South Sudanese families are taking their daughters back home for arrange marriages.
Well, maybe I should not be surprised. However, the question remains as this. In this first world where nobody is lacking food to eat, is this about the value of marriage that families fear their daughters will miss the opportunity or could it simply be the belief that a girl child has no other purposes in life except to be married? Why do South Sudanese families feel the need to l arrange marriages between their daughters with some strangers in Africa?
I used to think much of the arrange marriage happens due to poverty in some families. Now, I’m reconsidering my thought. I also think, because of our ‘culturally defined purpose’, families fear once a girl child reaches a certain age, she may not be sellable. So, they rush her to whoever and call it a deal. But as soon as you think about it, rushing her to whoever cannot secure her in a marriage, especially the western world born children. So, I’m also questioning the motive.
Apart from this insufferable piece of our discover, we also have heard from our mothers, the people who have lived the painful aspect of our culture. And I must say this, living our culture has been a long life with proves to begin revising it all together. Imagine this, a woman who was married in 1977 at age 15 still suffers the consequences of that decision made by none other than her parents. What is not ask? What is not to question? What is there to believe?
And then the other questions are, if within the beauty of what we have come the hurdles faced by women just because they are women, how is this difficult to talk about? How does a culture manly made with interest to serve the very view of man qualifies not to be asked? If it disregards the very oneness of man and woman, how evident is not to know we are lost?
Whichever one of the questions you will disagree with and for whatever reason, I want you to know one thing. Whether our county will not provide a space for South Sudanese women to talk, that act will never replace what is wrong.
Tabitha Biel Luak